Why Not Moment

I was thinking about my career choice earlier this week, and I had the thought to put it into a blog.
I'm just having a "why not" moment. :)

Growing up, I debated going into the military. Why? Because I wanted to go to boot camp! I wanted to train, rain or shine. I wanted people yelling in my ear to do more push-ups and sit ups, and to keep running until I puke. (Okay, so maybe not puke, I'm disturbed by puking in every sense of the word) But, I didn't have very good role models in the military, so I threw that idea out the window.

When I was in 7th grade, I tried to realistically figure out what I wanted to do. Start early. I was a Why Not gal back then too. ;) I was pretty interested in cars, so I wanted to be a car mechanic... My family has always been talking about how they have paid way too much in car repairs, so I figured I'd be able to fix my own car and be rich!... But really, I just wanted to be "hardcore" woman who was proving to the world that women can do whatever men can.

That was short lived. I then changed my mind. I wanted to be a mailman! Well, woman... A mail carrier. I wanted to deliver birthday cards to little children wanting to hear from their grandparents thousands of miles away. I wanted to deliver love notes. .... Well that was part of it anyway. I really just wanted to walk all day, door to door, wear the fun uniform, have a super nice tan, and ripped arms and legs. I studied to see what i would have to do in order to be a mail carrier. I researched and found the test. I tried taking the practice one. Turns out, I'm more dyslexic than I thought, and would never pass the test. Thankfully...

I then decided that maybe I should become a police officer or a fire fighter. Fire fighter was crossed off my list fairly quickly. I wanted to be one so that I could wear the heavy suit and carry the heavy hose, and once again prove that this woman can do what men do. However, I'm claustrophobic, and picturing myself in a closed off space due to smoke and fire, and I couldn't really breathe thinking about it, so I crossed it off. I was pretty dead set on becoming an officer, though. I then talked to an old friend of mine. He was a security guard at the mall for a while. He went off to become an officer, so we had an informal interview over dinner at Rosa's one night. He informed me that I would have to attend the Academy.work He told me about his experience in the Academy, and instead of scaring me, it motivated me. I was extremely ready. Then he told me I would have to work Sundays for what I wanted to do for at least a year. That was a deal breaker. Side note, this man was later arrested for being sexually involved with a minor.

After that, I was a bit lost. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I thought about just staying in banking. The thought of it, though, made me very sad. I wouldn't be happy in banking for the rest of my life. Then I thought, well what do I want to do? I could see myself being happy as a receptionist. I love planning, I have a word obsession with office supplies, and I love office phones. But that's nothing to aspire to. So I looked over all my past career choices and found one similarity: exercise! The physically tolling labor is what attracted me to all these past choices. Therefore, I decided to become a personal trainer. I firmly believe exercise makes people feel better, and I would be making their lives happier in so many different ways, and they wouldn't even realize it. I would also be teaching yoga, Pilate's, Tae Bo, and kickboxing on the side, if all goes according to plan. I'd also like to teach piano and voice on the side. I think I'd get a lot of enjoyment out of that. :)

Things I'm thankful for: Chocolate chips. Exercise. Jason Bourne. And Eric Whitacre, with his handsome face and gorgeous, feathery hair.

"Quotations"

My day can be summed up by these four "quotations". 

"With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity."

- Keshavan Nair.

"Daily prayers will diminish your cares"

- Betty Mills

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

 -Judy Garland

"Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not."

-Henri Frederic Amiel

And one for the road!

"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem."

-Davaid Carradine

Things I'm thankful for:

You!

Wall, Stall, and Volleyball

I have a pet peeve that never fails to irk me. Usually, some pet peeves, I can 'patience' through it. But this one drives me up the wall. I'll go to greet a customer, and the conversation goes a bit like this.


Me: Hi, how are you?
Customer: I'm doing well, how about yourself?
Me. I'm...
Customer: (interjects) I'd like a deposit slip please.
Me: ... okay.

Why ask me how I'm doing if you aren't even going to let me answer? I get that you don't care whether my day is going horrifically or not, but if you are going to ask, at least do me the common courtesy of letting me answer. Especially if your next words are asking a favor from me.

So I went into the bathroom at Rosa's and headed for the handicapped stall. Then I thought, well oh no Samm! What if a handicapped person comes in and needs this stall? So I went to the smaller stall and realized why I head to the handicapped stall. I'm claustrophobic! That stall was so tiny! I wanna breathe when I pee, thank you very much! So I told myself, okay, handicapped stall it is, and I'll just hurry!

So my favorite football player is not longer at Texas Tech, and was recruited by the Dallas Cowboys. I think I've already said this, but that's okay. Jamar Wall!!! I think I'm actually going to watch the NFL this season. I like the NCAA better, I find it more personable and entertaining. But Wall's my boy! Some people probably see my Tech t-shirt I have now and think "Here's another girl, just wearing the shirt to wear a Tech shirt. I bet she doesn't even know who number 3 is." Well, they would be right. I don't have a clue. It used to be Wall though, and I'll wear it to remember his Tech days. :)

I'm looking forward to playing sand volleyball tonight. I'm actually losing weight with all this activity in sports! Dodgeball, some catch with a baseball and football, and tonight, volleyball! Granted, it's only a pound or two, but I didn't have to pants-dance into my work pants today so I was excited. I've been putting some chub on, especially around the middle. I should start running again. How can I expect future clients to keep weight off if I can't even do it myself?

Things I'm thankful for: Sports :). Acting like a kid whenever I darn well please. 5- layer burritoes. A boyfriend who loves Tex-Mex as much as I do. Tennis shoes. And boy howdy am I thankful for deodorant!! But not as thankful as the ones around me! lol jk

Dodgeball Diet

Good news! The callous from my jiggling and jangling episodes is slowly going away! I can get in my car, turn the key, and lo and behold!, it will start for me! Also, there is that plastic stuff on the grip of the key, as opposed to bare medal, so it feels real niiice!

I have a new-found love for dodgeball. I have played the past two nights in a row, and I could have played for the past two days in a row straight. I have a tendancy, though, to not listen to my body when it tells me to stop, and every muscle in my body is aching. Who knew that I even used half of those muscles to play dodgeball?!? I think I have a new workout to suggest for clients in the future. " Mrs. Samm, I want to tone up my muscles. All of them. What should I do?", "Oh, I have just the thing for you Mr. Client! I call it the Dodgeball Diet. No, it has nothing to do with eating, but you'll always be hungry for more!"

Man, oh man, I love being cheesy.

So, yesterday, as I pulled into our parking lot at work, I had the sudden urge to say the Pledge of Allegiance, solely because I wanted to say, "One nation, under God". I can't quite put my finger on why, except for at times, I'm just a "Why not!" type of gal.

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, (in yo face to those who wanted to take it out) indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

More good news! For those who missed my "Theoretical Construction" post, I became bored with my layout. "Of course you did, Samm, it's all white!" This 'whiteboard', as I've come to know it as, happened recently. I just took all color out, with the help of my brilliant Spencer, and my own 'computer know-hows'. If I think of it as a whiteboard, then it's easier for me to focus on what I want it to look like. I may not be the best of artists free-hand, (or any other way), but I do enjoy creating, and this 'whiteboard' look is a blank canvas for my itching, creative fingers! So I've come up with an idea for my layout and it'll be forthcoming relatively soon! (redudant?).

Things I'm thankful for: Free burritoes!  The freedom to recite the pledge where I want, how I want, and with as many commas as I darn well please. The ability to create. The ability to relate. (referring to my aunt's most recent post all about creating things ;) )  The ability to rhyme ;). Turning old grudges into new, beautiful friendships. Puns ;) And the prospect of ice cream in my near future!

Keys, Please!

Jackie is my beloved 2001 Pontiac Grand AM. Recently, the key takes a billion years to turn, and I've jiggled and jangled that stupid key more than any human being should have to jiggle or jangle a key. So, after spending nearly 45 accumulated minutes yesterday of jiggling and jangling, I had my car taken in. I had to take my dad's truck to work, and, on top of my bank keys, I have had 19 keys in my possession today. I gave five of them back to my dad, so I still have 14 keys on me. RIDICULOUS.

What else is ridiculous, is last night we waited in line at Walmart for 45 minutes. We were just buying water and gatorade mix, and yet we stood in line longer than the ride to and from the stinkin' place. Times five. But I had myself a thought last night as I was going to bed. As we were standing in line, the man behind us was cussing and getting mad. He then apologized to the person he was talking to, and said that he never swears, but this is ridiculous. I was thinking about that and  thought, you know, anger is not a justification for acting that way. I wasn't judging this man in any way, I was judging myself. Just because my coworker drives me up the wall, and usually on purpose, I can't do whatever I darn well please, and say, "Sorry, she just made me so angry!" I have no room to do things outside of my own character just because I am angry. My best friend Shayla is a good example. This old, homeless man yelled provocative obcenities at her one day on her way into work. She felt like flipping him off, but that's not who she is. If I were there, I would have done more than that, because no one talks to Shay like that when I'm around! However, anger is not a justification for being someone I'm not.

Instead of grumbling and "murmuring" in line for 45 minutes, what if I'd have let Spencer wait in line, while I went and helped sack the groceries? They didn't have any sackers, the poor cashiers were doing all the work themselves. One lady had a ton of coupons. What if I had just gone over there and helped her sort through them, as opposed to standing there, so glad that I wasn't in that line? It made me step back and feel truly guilty for the way I had acted earlier that day. I just stood there, listening to the people around me, and forget who I am. I suppose I need to truly think about what Christ would do ALL the time, and not just when I happen to remember. In this case, too late.

Sometimes, I do think about it, but I don't have the courage to do it. Quite often, there are wrecks at the intersection where I work. If it's hot outside, I'll see some people just standing around while the police officers and the ambulance workers do their work, and I'll think, "Huh, I bet they could use some water. I bet they are stressed out, and it's hot. A tiny random act of kindness would go a long way for them." Yet, I just don't have the courage to get myself up and get those poor wreck victims a cup of water. Now I can't even get myself a cup of water because our employers are cutting costs.

What I've learned: Anger is not a justification, and I'm a coward. Maybe I should skip off to Oz and get me some courage.

Random thought: I am constantly thinking like a writer. All day, I'll think of things I want to write, but have nothing to write it for. I thought about becoming a journalist, but I don't want rules for my writing! Maybe a blog is perfect for me. It can take care of my urge to write, get my ideas down, and never have to be pressed for a deadline. I am definitely my daddy's daughter. Also, I'm pretty dead set on becoming a personal trainer. I can't wait!

Things I'm thankful for: Institute and the Ensign. Tithing, and the blessings that come from paying it. I'm about to be thankful that I don't have to jiggle or jangle my key anymore! Dodgeball, volleyball, baseball, and football. And James Marsden. :)

Quirks

Last night, I went in to the bathroom and saw a nasty monster roach by the tub. I'm not wearing shoes, I don't even think I was wearing pants, actually, so I was definitely in a pickle. So, following my insticts of course, I grab the hair spray can, spray the jeepers out of that creeper, and attempt to smash him under the can. However, the bottom of the can isn't flat, and roaches never die. When I tried a second time, I trapped him under there and decided that would suffice. So, family, if there is a hair spray can on the floor, you better be wearing shoes or have some alcohol ready to squirt that sucker.

I got in bed last night and got ready to go to sleep when I realized something. My blanket was sideways. I want to set up a night vision video camera and just watch myself sleep, because every night I have to re-fix my blanket the right way, and every morning, it's sideways again.

I'm a pretty quirky person though. I guess it's a good thing that Spencer had his quirks too. :)

Samm: Always has to check the mailbox before she walks in the door, no matter what time of day or night.

Spencer: Always has to take his shoes off after he walks in the door.

Samm: Has to have the short straws at restaurants, if they have them. If not, she cuts them down.
Spencer: Has to wrap any food wrappings within one another, and always like wrapping up a diaper. Good practice, I suppose. :)

Samm: Always has to walk on Spencer's left.
Spencer: Always has to interlock fingers when holding hands with Samm.

Samm: Always checks the time, even if she has no where to be.

Spencer: Always checks the score, even if he doesn't care about the game.

Samm: Makes it her outside mission to kill every roach in sight.
Spencer: Won't kill a roach. It's not necessary.

Samm: Parks as far as possible from her destination. Leg appreciation day!
Spencer: Parks as close as possible. "VIP up in this mug!"

Samm: Constantly makin up new words and claiming she is calling Noah Webster to put it in the dictionary.
Spencer: Constantly correcting Samm's terrible grammar.

Samm: Couldn't stay away from Spencer since their first date. ♥

Spencer: Couldn't stay away from Samm since their first date. ♥

I had an ex who used to call me 'broken' because of all my quirks. Well, I guess Spencer is broken too :)

This whole post is random, so things I'm thankful for: Hair spray, even though I never, ever use it for my hair. Finger nail polish remover, for the times I need to get myself feeling like a tomboy again. Jackie Chan. Space heaters, even though it's summer and high 90 degrees outside.

Theoretical Construction

It is currently 12:37 in the morning and I am sitting in bed, thoroughly needing to read the words of the prophet and apostles, and go to bed. However, I am sitting on my bed, on my unplugged, dying laptop, and all I can think is how I need to come up with a new layout for my blog. Mine is so unpersonal and not...me. Chances are, my fish will stay, I can't very well get rid of them, that's like abandoning a puppy in the streets or flushing them down the cyber toilet, and I just don't have the heart for that. So, as of now, my site will be under construction. It will all be theoretical construction, though, until I can finally get it all together.

I'm pretty excited, though, I like making things my own. The only reason I played with Barbies growing up was so I could rearrange the furniture, the kitchen appliances, food, and junk. The only reason I ever liked MySpace was because I could design my profile however I darn well please. And boy did I darn well please... :)

I'm pretty handy with computers, but I'm not PRO. So I may recruit dearest Spencer. But if anyone has any pointers, feel free to help me out!

Random things today: I'm getting chubby. I need to workout. How can I expect to be a personal trainer if I can't even train myself? Except that I have, my diet just sucks. I don't use automatic doors, I hate elevetors. I always use the stairs, and more often than not, I take them two at a time. Then it works out my legs and my cardio. I played catch again today with Spencer. I love love love playing catch. I love love love that man!

Things I'm thankful for: Random love notes in the shape of an origami heart. :)

Warning: Tear-Jerker!

Say boo boo!

So not much has been happening lately, therefore no posts for a while. However, someone got onto me today for not posting so, just for you babe!

Speaking of which, last night, we had a small arguement where we were just constantly snapping at each other. At the end of the night, we gave each other a forced hug, but the longer we held on, the more real it became, until we both realized how stupid this arguement was, and how it wasn't worth it. That's another reason how I know. ♥ I think of these kind of hugs as Healing Hugs. Not sure why, Peace Hugs probably fits better, but it's not as... alliterating. :)


On Tuesday, we had a substitute in Institute (those two words should never be in the same sentence, *whew* but I very well couldn't say sub in In because you wouldn't have known what I was talking about.) She told us these two particular stories that I feel like sharing.

She was doing laundry one day, and was overwhelmed. It felt like she had done twenty loads, when in reality, it was probably only five. She had each folded and placed neatly in the laundry baskets, waiting to be put away. She soon heard two of her little boys giggling loudly, and saw that they were taking this laundry and throwing it over the balcony. She then described her frustration by telling us how she felt like throwing her boys over the balcony. After a long-described mental battle of, "Which lesson should I teach my children this time?", she decided to teach them about kindness and she hugged them both. Now that is a woman.

The other story I wanted to share got me all teary-eyed. I apologize to those in that class reading this if I get the details wrong. There was a woman who had cancer twice over. This lady was pregnant. It was a baby boy. This lady had other wild boys, but this one was the craziest. He was kicking his feet and just being so lively in there. I can't remember if it was because of the cancer she had prior to the pregnancy, but this baby boy did not have a skull. This mother's body was weak due to the two times of cancer, but she was always joyous when her baby boy was constantly moving because it showed that he was still alive. She was in Italy at the time and had to fly back to the United States because in Italy, those babies were automatically aborted. She decided that, although this baby would not live, because he did not have a skull, she at least wanted him to have a few hours here on earth. So she had this baby. She couldn't be put under anything because any type of drugs or anything would harm the baby. He had to come out feet first because he didn't have a skull. So not only did he come out the hard way, but this mother had to deliver the hard way as well, feeling every ounce of pain, especially with her cancer-weakened body. All, so that her baby boy could live for a couple of hours in this world, which he did. Now that is a woman.

Now a story about me that makes me look like not such a woman and more like a little girl. I was in the bathroom last night and I heard this mosquito. I tried killing it several times and failing. I went around the corner to where our toilet and bathtub is, and saw a humongous daddy long leg spider. I told this spider, "Now see here! I'm not going to kill you, but you have to kill that mosquito, deal? And if you even think about coming in my room, I'll kill you." Then I went to wash my hands and face, take out my contacts and get ready for bed, when I heard the mosquito right behind me. I think it got me on my shoulder. So, naturally, I grab the closest aerosol can, which happened to be hair spray, and sprayed the crap out of the bathroom. If I couldn't breathe, I know that 'skito couldn't either.

Random thoughts for the day: I love lightning. There was a lightning show yesterday. I don't know if it brought any rain, but it was very pretty. Also, I'm thinking about redo-ing Personal Progress all over again, now that I can actually appreciate it. Not that I didn't then, I just was thinking back and I can't remember very much about it at all! Also, I finished my butterfly puzzle last night. It was missing two pieces :( A 1000 piece puzzle in the shape of a butterfly, with butterfly shaped pieces. It was ridiculous. Took me weeks to finish.

Things I'm thankful for: Ice. Water. Rain. Green!! Things that make me laugh. Music. Being prepared for the future.

Fourth of July

It's been a long weekend. Great!, but long.

Spencer and I left Friday night for Mesquite (Dallas). I got off work, we went to my brother's birthday party, and took off a little early to hit the road. It was a great weekend! We saw a firework show, his brother's girlfriend's family put on another fireworks show for us, after we ate way too much food there. We also played volleyball, and catch, wherein I received a small bruise on my hand that didn't feel so small. Then Monday, we just relaxed all day and watched movies with his parents.

I'm pretty tired, though. This blog will probably be very short. I'm at work now, extremely thirst because I forgot my water today.

I don't even have any random thoughts today. That should tell you how tired I am!

I am thankful for making it to and from and around Mesquite and Dallas safely. I'm thankful for poptarts. I'm thankful for Spencer, movies, music, iPods, and Rosa's.