Jackie is my beloved 2001 Pontiac Grand AM. Recently, the key takes a billion years to turn, and I've jiggled and jangled that stupid key more than any human being should have to jiggle or jangle a key. So, after spending nearly 45 accumulated minutes yesterday of jiggling and jangling, I had my car taken in. I had to take my dad's truck to work, and, on top of my bank keys, I have had 19 keys in my possession today. I gave five of them back to my dad, so I still have 14 keys on me. RIDICULOUS.
What else is ridiculous, is last night we waited in line at Walmart for 45 minutes. We were just buying water and gatorade mix, and yet we stood in line longer than the ride to and from the stinkin' place. Times five. But I had myself a thought last night as I was going to bed. As we were standing in line, the man behind us was cussing and getting mad. He then apologized to the person he was talking to, and said that he never swears, but this is ridiculous. I was thinking about that and thought, you know, anger is not a justification for acting that way. I wasn't judging this man in any way, I was judging myself. Just because my coworker drives me up the wall, and usually on purpose, I can't do whatever I darn well please, and say, "Sorry, she just made me so angry!" I have no room to do things outside of my own character just because I am angry. My best friend Shayla is a good example. This old, homeless man yelled provocative obcenities at her one day on her way into work. She felt like flipping him off, but that's not who she is. If I were there, I would have done more than that, because no one talks to Shay like that when I'm around! However, anger is not a justification for being someone I'm not.
Instead of grumbling and "murmuring" in line for 45 minutes, what if I'd have let Spencer wait in line, while I went and helped sack the groceries? They didn't have any sackers, the poor cashiers were doing all the work themselves. One lady had a ton of coupons. What if I had just gone over there and helped her sort through them, as opposed to standing there, so glad that I wasn't in that line? It made me step back and feel truly guilty for the way I had acted earlier that day. I just stood there, listening to the people around me, and forget who I am. I suppose I need to truly think about what Christ would do ALL the time, and not just when I happen to remember. In this case, too late.
Sometimes, I do think about it, but I don't have the courage to do it. Quite often, there are wrecks at the intersection where I work. If it's hot outside, I'll see some people just standing around while the police officers and the ambulance workers do their work, and I'll think, "Huh, I bet they could use some water. I bet they are stressed out, and it's hot. A tiny random act of kindness would go a long way for them." Yet, I just don't have the courage to get myself up and get those poor wreck victims a cup of water. Now I can't even get myself a cup of water because our employers are cutting costs.
What I've learned: Anger is not a justification, and I'm a coward. Maybe I should skip off to Oz and get me some courage.
Random thought: I am constantly thinking like a writer. All day, I'll think of things I want to write, but have nothing to write it for. I thought about becoming a journalist, but I don't want rules for my writing! Maybe a blog is perfect for me. It can take care of my urge to write, get my ideas down, and never have to be pressed for a deadline. I am definitely my daddy's daughter. Also, I'm pretty dead set on becoming a personal trainer. I can't wait!
Things I'm thankful for: Institute and the Ensign. Tithing, and the blessings that come from paying it. I'm about to be thankful that I don't have to jiggle or jangle my key anymore! Dodgeball, volleyball, baseball, and football. And James Marsden. :)