Revision

I got off work today, and all Spencer wanted to do was talk about engagement details. We figured out a venue, a photographer, the layout of the reception, and we even looked at an apartment complex, just the outside/neighborhood recon. My sister also wants to help me out... sometimes maybe too much, but I only think that when she bombards me with questions about the minute-est details.

I just needed to make the revision that Spencer is the perfect man for me, and there is no dragging involved and I'm truly blessed.


I love you, Spencer.

Overload

I've made a huge mistake. (Quoting Arrested Development, btw)

If my life were compared to a hard drive... [||||||||||||||||||||]|||||||||||||

Notice where my capactiy line ends.

Two callings in the church on top of visiting teaching,
I can handle that.
Being engaged to a wonderful man who is sweet, but it feels like I'm dragging along to help me in the planning (95% of women who are engaged can attest to this) but
I can handle that.
Being in a family with 4 siblings, 3 of which are married, two of which have children, having to keep up with birthdays and spending time with each if I can,
I can handle that.
Taking 6 classes this semester, each teacher thinking that their class is the only one I'm taking and therefore can devote all of my time to that one and only class, which is duly correct seeing as how their class is the most important one of all time anyway.
I can handle that.
Working as close to 40 hours as I can, but only managing 30 hours, while having to put up with controlling, sometimes incompetent, and lazy coworkers, some of which come in smelling strongly of alcohol which stinks like nothing else
I can handle that.
Having to keep up with friends, of whom I don't get to see much at all of, and my best friend moving to Utah so I don't even have her as an outlet for anything
I can handle that
Having to deal with the fact that I've gained a good amount of weight, especially around the middle, have horrible eating habits, and need to start consciously eating healthy foods, while trying to find time in my schedule to work out.
I can handle that.
Trying to be a an avid sports fan, watching as much NCAA as myself, and Spencer, can cram into my brain, which is highly enjoyable, but now all my Saturdays are football filled.
I can handle that.

When it comes to trying to do all of these things together.

I don't know if I can handle that, and I am stressed out of my mind.

I know the solution. I know what needs to be done. The only thing is, adding ANOTHER thing to do, even though it will relieve all of my stress, stresses me out.

Failures and Triumphs

Failure: It has been about a month, if not over a month, since I have last posted.

Triumph: I am posting now.

Failure: I'm taking Fitnes and Wellness class online. I missed the first quiz that the teacher didn't mark on the calendar, the first test because I missed the first quiz, and then the first discussion because I didn't know it was due at 5pm instead of midnight. Who makes their school work due at 5pm?!? This irked me, but I'm trying to go the extra mile in this class now so that she knows I didn't just skip it because I didn't feel like it, but they were honest mistakes and miscommunications on both ends of this Failure.

Triumph: I have issues with a coworker and have made reference to her several times. We all got along. She was walking over everyone and I got tired of it so I stood up for myself. This coworker started hating me. Another coworker realized that I have more fun than they do because I don't put up with this little girl's junk, so she started standing up to her too. My side of this arguement is fair for everyone, whereas Devil Coworker is only looking out for herself. The Triumph: the last coworker standing is now crossing over to my side. Devil Coworker thinks that she can control everyone's schedule now, and Teetering Coworker isn't liking that, not one bit, and she sees that she doesn't have to get walked all over either. When Teetering gets off of vacation, she is going to talk to Momma and Daddy Boss and work out this childish behavior with Devil. Woohoo!!! After two years of putting up with her junk, something better  get done!

Failure: I eat out way too much and have gained 10 pounds, mostly in the Love Handles Area. I'm taking kickboxing, but it's kicking my butt because of how out of shape I am. Soon, however, I will be back in shape and I will hopefully forever kiss my LHAs goodbye!

Triumph: After two real kick boxing classes, not just warm ups and learning techniques, while laying on my stomach, I can't grab my LHAs! Sitting down, and especially curled up is a way different story. Sooo progress!

Failure: Batch fumbled the ball... Batch... fumbled... Baron Batch... Belated Beast Baron Batch....fumbled. I suppose that term doesn't make sense, but it sure alliterated my world.

Triumph: We stomped UNM 52 -17. Also the trip to NM was a blast Ton O Fun! I really enjoyed seeing my aunt and uncle again, and new scenery! I just wish we had a little bit more time there.

Things I'm thankful for: A loving family, not just immediate but extended. Jack Johnson. Jack Sparrow. Brian Duncan "Donuts!". Sparkly things and my one and only Spencer. ;) People who are considerate and courteous. Ice. Tents. Pedometers, even though the bulge gets old. Cheese, in every sense of the word. Coloring books, kites, and butterflies :)

*Blank*

I don't really have anything to blog about. Chances are, this post will be about everything and nothing at the same time.

Or maybe just nothing.

I colored a picture of a monkey! It was on the iPod that my loving honey gave me, since he has no need of it anymore ;) I love it, I have way too much fun with it. But there is a coloring app, and I zoomed in and saw that you could color the nostrils of the monkey. Naturally, if you can color something like nostrils different colors, nothing can be it's normal color! I also have an app where you can free hand draw, but it's a bit different than something like Paint. The background is black, and it's like coloring with light (?). So as I stared at the black background, I saw myself, and decided to try and trace it. It's become a new game I play with myself while I'm bored at work.

I got my oil changed. I planned on doing it myself (with the help of Spencer), but the drain plug was stripped and we couldn't get it off. So I took it in, had Bolton change the oil, and replace the drain plug. You just wait, Jackie, I'll change your oil next time. Three thousand miles later, and I will be an oil changing fiend!!!

"Ain't no stopping [me] now!" - McFadden and Whitehead.

I was really good at writing papers in English class. Length was never a problem for me, because I could expand and add detail to no end. Once, in 8th grade, we were given several different subjects, one at a time, and on each subject, we were given a time limit. We were told to expound upon that subject as much as we possibly could and see how long our paper was. I would love to go back and read that. I may even still have it, my mother keeps everything! I owned that paper. It was right up my alley. Everyone knows I talk way too much, once I get started. Another reason, dear Spencer, that I appreciate your patience with me. :) ♥

I can't  wait until I can visit my family in Utah and Kentucky. Chances are, Spencer will be coming with me, and everyone can meet him. :) I'm so lucky! I say that nearly every day to myself.

Things I'm thankful for: J. K. Rowling. Poptarts. Water. Music. Good friends and kind acquaintances. Extended family. And kind oil-changing people.

Bugs and Letters

Lately, I have been sick with an infection, which caused a flare up of my mono. Gross. Disgusting. I've been very tired and fatigued for no reason, so I've been lazy. I'm getting better though, and that's exciting!

I came home one night and went into the bathroom and saw a caterpillar! It was black though, so I thought it might be a centipede/millipede (maybe I should find out the difference...), so I looked closer. But it was inching along, and didn't have any nasty legs, so it was a caterpillar. Of course, Lil' Samm coming out, I had to play with it! But I'd never seen one like that before so I decided to let it crawl on a square of toilet paper. I finally got it on and I carried it to the bathroom counter. I tried playing with it, trying to make it move like the pestering, evil child inside me (haha, evil child, oxymoron), but it wouldn't budge. I think it liked it's ride on the Toilet Pap-Air flight because it wouldn't let go after that. I'd hoped it'd still be there in the morning but it wasn't. Bye Mr. Caterpillar, have a good life, go be a butterfly and stay away from car windshields.

I also saw a straggler roach this morning outside. It was moving, but it had ants crawling around it, and I think it's legs were broken. I had pity for this evil enemy of mine, so I put it out of it's misery and squished it. I guess I can love my enemies.

I have a coworker that drives me crazy. I have actually drawn pictures of her earlier in my blog, which was not nice at all, and I thought about taking them down, but hey, it was good artwork! Anyway, I found an email I had written her. It was one of those situations where you "Write a letter when you are angry, then stick it in a drawer and go to bed. If you still want to send it in the morning, then do." and I didn't want to send it the next day. However, I went back and read this. This letter was from a year ago tomorrow. August, 11, 2009. Everything I wrote still applies, if not more so, and things have just gotten worse. A year later, and I still want to send it. However, I won't, because it's mean, and it's not even everything I'd want to say. Like I said, things have just gotten worse. That's what I call ridiculous. I better leave that subject alone or I'll start saying things that aren't nice and regret it later.

We had a thunderstorm yesterday. It was an odd day yesterday... But anyway, I was staring out the window, and it was really dark and cloudy, then I realized it was about to storm. (My favorite!) Our drive thru is covered, but I was watching the sidewalk on the other side. It was at such an angle that it was reflecting a white truck, so with every drop, (and they were big drops!!), it looked like someone was painting the sidewalk white. I was so engulfed in this version of the rain, that I only barely noticed the rapidly flashing lightning. All of the sudden, there was a big cracking BOOM! that echoed throughout the bank and the drive-thru that nearly scared my pants clean off! I really enjoy thunderstorms. :) ♥

Things I'm thankful for: Butterflies. Thunderstorms. Spencer. Music. Love for enemies, and I don't mean roaches this time. My family. My friends. Shayla, who I'll miss way too much. And crab-stuffed shrimp. :) ♥

Thanksgiving

I'ts been a very long weekend. Well, week, really. I had been very fatigued for no reason, and short of breath for a while.Then Tuesday, I came down with a fever. I got rid of that on Thursday, but had a lingering sore throat, and continuous fatigue and shortness of breath. I took Tuesday through Friday off from work, but when in on Saturday. I saw a doctor. (That was an obnoxious ordeal that I don't really feel like repeating. No need to bring up past irritation). I don't have strep, but I'm going in tomorrow ofr a mono test. I've had mono before, but I think this is another....bout, so to speak.

Saturday was one of the busiest Saturday's in a while. Usually, we'll have about twenty transactions on a normal Saturday. This particular day, we had about forty. Today has been one of the busiest Mondays I've had in a long time. A normal weekday, each person will have around fifteen, maybe twenty. Two of our employees are out. One on vacation and one with a sick baby, so both my coworker and I are working a ten hour day, with no break. (We can eat lunch, but if a client comes, we have to help them, so it doesn't really count as a break.) A normal transaction count for me right now would be about twenty-five. Maybe thirty if we got busy. Currently, it's at sixty-one with another two and a half hours to go before we reset the counter. Then another two hours of work after that. If I didn't have a reason to feel fatigued before, I definitely do now. I'm exhausted, and it's only 1:30.

However, thanks to my dearest Spencer, this has not been an unbearable week. Anything I have ever needed, he got for me. Nothing has really sounded good to eat, so it's been difficult eating without getting nauseous. So when I would finally pinpoint the foods that sounded tasty at the time, Spencer was already in the car on the way to the store to get it for me. On top of which, he's made boring sick days fun! I wanted Club Crackers, and he got the Easy Cheese whiz stuff, whatever, to go on them. So we've had fun, making sandwiches out of the crackers and cheese, spelling words and names, and I ♥ U in them. We've also played a countless number of card games, primarily Gin, and watched TV and movies out the wazoo. He even put up with hours of Spongebob for me, which is pure love right there. He would make my meals for me so I wouldn't have to get up, retrieve drinks if I got thirsty, and stayed home with me anytime he could.

Of course, in two weeks, when he is sick with whatever I have (if it's not mono) then I will be doing the same for him. No doubt about it :)

I've been thankful for a lot of things this week, but today's thanksgiving goes solely to Spencer.
Thank you sweetheart for all you do for me. I love you!

Why Not Moment

I was thinking about my career choice earlier this week, and I had the thought to put it into a blog.
I'm just having a "why not" moment. :)

Growing up, I debated going into the military. Why? Because I wanted to go to boot camp! I wanted to train, rain or shine. I wanted people yelling in my ear to do more push-ups and sit ups, and to keep running until I puke. (Okay, so maybe not puke, I'm disturbed by puking in every sense of the word) But, I didn't have very good role models in the military, so I threw that idea out the window.

When I was in 7th grade, I tried to realistically figure out what I wanted to do. Start early. I was a Why Not gal back then too. ;) I was pretty interested in cars, so I wanted to be a car mechanic... My family has always been talking about how they have paid way too much in car repairs, so I figured I'd be able to fix my own car and be rich!... But really, I just wanted to be "hardcore" woman who was proving to the world that women can do whatever men can.

That was short lived. I then changed my mind. I wanted to be a mailman! Well, woman... A mail carrier. I wanted to deliver birthday cards to little children wanting to hear from their grandparents thousands of miles away. I wanted to deliver love notes. .... Well that was part of it anyway. I really just wanted to walk all day, door to door, wear the fun uniform, have a super nice tan, and ripped arms and legs. I studied to see what i would have to do in order to be a mail carrier. I researched and found the test. I tried taking the practice one. Turns out, I'm more dyslexic than I thought, and would never pass the test. Thankfully...

I then decided that maybe I should become a police officer or a fire fighter. Fire fighter was crossed off my list fairly quickly. I wanted to be one so that I could wear the heavy suit and carry the heavy hose, and once again prove that this woman can do what men do. However, I'm claustrophobic, and picturing myself in a closed off space due to smoke and fire, and I couldn't really breathe thinking about it, so I crossed it off. I was pretty dead set on becoming an officer, though. I then talked to an old friend of mine. He was a security guard at the mall for a while. He went off to become an officer, so we had an informal interview over dinner at Rosa's one night. He informed me that I would have to attend the Academy.work He told me about his experience in the Academy, and instead of scaring me, it motivated me. I was extremely ready. Then he told me I would have to work Sundays for what I wanted to do for at least a year. That was a deal breaker. Side note, this man was later arrested for being sexually involved with a minor.

After that, I was a bit lost. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I thought about just staying in banking. The thought of it, though, made me very sad. I wouldn't be happy in banking for the rest of my life. Then I thought, well what do I want to do? I could see myself being happy as a receptionist. I love planning, I have a word obsession with office supplies, and I love office phones. But that's nothing to aspire to. So I looked over all my past career choices and found one similarity: exercise! The physically tolling labor is what attracted me to all these past choices. Therefore, I decided to become a personal trainer. I firmly believe exercise makes people feel better, and I would be making their lives happier in so many different ways, and they wouldn't even realize it. I would also be teaching yoga, Pilate's, Tae Bo, and kickboxing on the side, if all goes according to plan. I'd also like to teach piano and voice on the side. I think I'd get a lot of enjoyment out of that. :)

Things I'm thankful for: Chocolate chips. Exercise. Jason Bourne. And Eric Whitacre, with his handsome face and gorgeous, feathery hair.